Many people on the internet are applauding Sinead for advising Miley not to pimp herself out for men and the music industry who do not care about her. While I understand the message Sinead was trying to go for, namely not to let other people use you, it does come dangerously close to being slut-shaming.
Slut-shaming is when a person publicly or privately calls out a woman for being "too sexual" (in action, dress, or for any other reason) and not conforming to societies ideas of what is acceptable for a woman. Read a few excerpts from Sinead's letter to decide for yourself if you think it fits the definition of slut-shaming:
"I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping."
I think this could have been worded better. I am not a fan of the whole "Don't dress or act like that or other people will hurt you message" because I believe no ones dress is responsible for another person's bad actions. Also, saying Miley pimped herself out is basically publicly calling her a prostitute. That sounds like shaming to me.
Sinead goes on to say:
"This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media."
This part is especially concerning to me. Men walk around all the time in nothing more than boxers and no one says anything. A girl puts on a bikini and the whole country gets upset. We hold men to a different standard than women, assuming women need to cover themselves up so as to not incite "prey" to hurt us. What?! If a naked body incites you to harm another person, that is your issue, not the problem of the naked person. And, can we please remember that our American issues with sexuality and nakedness are not shared by the whole world.
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| Copyright: Katie Norris |
We also, as a society, seem to think that because we all saw Miley grow up in front of us on the Disney Channel that we all have a say in her choices. This is exemplified by Sinead's comment: "So this is what I need to say… And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love." Motherliness and love, the two words we use just before we shame someone. We think that if we say something we are doing is done out of "good intentions" that what we are about to say is justified. America, we are not Miley's mother and I do not believe mother's (or parents) have the right to shame their children anyway.
I think the underlying message in Sinead's letter was meant to be that women claim their power and sexuality for themselves, not because they think it will sell more records. It could have been said without the slut-shaming language which not only effects Miley but every other woman who wears a bikini, dances in a certain way, or falls out of our social norms. Maybe we should seek to understand before we judge. By creating a national scandal out of Miley's actions, we only brought out her defensiveness rather than anyone asking her what she wants from her career and what she wants from her life. I am not saying we do not address consequences of our actions. We can talk about the realities of being judged in our society by what we do and how much of that judgement we are willing and able to take on at this point in our lives. We can help people discern what is right for them rather than telling them what is right for them. Maybe we should also consider the power dynamic here. The power of a male industry and older male directors over a young woman. Could you imagine being put in her position? To even think that you have the ability to make your own choice when those with so much power over you probably say you do not? Just something to consider.
I don't care if Miley is naked on a wrecking ball, I don't care what she wears, and I don't care how she dances, as long as she does these things for herself, with intention, and not because she thinks it will cause a scandal or to be rebellious, and especially not if she feels powerless to make her own choice. I don't have the right to judge what she wears or if she licks a wrecking ball, and really, why do I care anyway?
I am far more concerned about the disgusting message of Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines song than Miley's dancing. In fact, it is not Miley's sexuality and dress that bothered me the most about the Video Music Awards, but other more important issues. Such as Miley sharing the stage with Robin Thicke in singing about dominating women. (Do we really think Miley had a choice in that decision? And why is she the only one being blamed for it?) Then there are the issues of race in Miley's performance when she uses African American women as props. Miley also culturally misappropriated twerking. This has resulted in a judgement of twerking as inappropriate and it sends a terrible message to the African American community for whom this is their dance form. Again, I will reiterate that while I say Miley did these things, we have to understand that "Miley" is not one woman but a whole industry of people telling her what to do and I don't know how much power I would feel I had in that situation at 20 years old. Heck at 34 I don't know if I could stand up to the people she had to deal with.
While these issues mainly concern two people, I think it illustrates a much bigger issue in our society. We think we can tell people who they are and who they can be, and then we assume they will be healthy of body and mind. That's just not true. We destroy people by shaming them. And, one act of shame creates another, such as how Miley then responds to Sinead by shaming her for having mental illness. How is this cycle healthy for either one of them?
Blessings,
Rev. Katie
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