"Vincent and The Doctor:" In Celebration of World Bipolar Day 2014

Today is the first World Bipolar Day:

"World Bipolar Day (WBD) will be celebrating its inaugural year on March 30th, the birthday of Vincent Van Gogh, who was posthumously diagnosed as probably having bipolar disorder. The vision of WBD is to bring world awareness to bipolar disorders and eliminate social stigma. Through international collaboration the goal of World Bipolar Day is to bring the world population information about bipolar disorders that will educate and improve sensitivity towards the illness."

Logo from ISBD.

Since Vincent Van Gogh's birthday was chosen to celebrate this day, I think it is fitting to talk about one of the TV shows I feel raises awareness about bipolar disorder, helps decrease stigma, and increases compassion: Dr. Who's "Vincent and the Doctor" (Season 5: Episode 10.) When I saw this episode, I felt like part of my story was being told. It was a compassionate understanding of mental illness and the struggle of those of us with bipolar disorder.

I think what the episode shows about mental illness that most people fail to understand, is that while our mind may not work the way we want it to sometimes, one of the amazing things about our illness is the way we see the world. We often see it as more real than other people. In Dr. Who, Van Gogh not only sees the nuances of color, light, and beauty in the world, which makes him a great painter, he also sees truths that others do not see. As Van Gogh says, "There is so much more to the world than the average eye can see."

In this science fiction story, something has recently brought death to the community, which everyone blames on the "madness" of Van Gogh. We discover though that the thing which is bringing death is a monster from another world that no one else can see, except Van Gogh.

Our Van Gogh/Dr. Who Poster. Copyright C. Norris.

This ability to see more than others can- whether that be through physical sight, increased empathy (which can be seen in the show with Van Gogh's ability to see Amy's sadness over a loss even she does not remember consciously), superior leadership skills, the ability to see organizational systems, etc...- is well documented in bipolar disorder. You can read about this in A First Rate Madness by Dr. Nassir Ghaemi and Touched with Fire by Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison. Many people see us as irrational, eccentric, too sensitive, too emotional, and thus disregard what we see and feel. The research shows that we actually have more insight that people believe we have. I love in the show when Van Gogh says "I may be mad, but I'm not stupid." So true, and what so many of us want to say to those who think we are incapable of contributing to the world.

Dr. Who also shows the great agony those of us with bipolar live with daily, and yet we fight to carry on anyway. One of the things many of us worry about is that our illness will make us unable to leave anything good behind when we die. Will we ever be worthy of the precious life we were given? There is a beautiful scene at the end of the episode when The Doctor, Amy, and Van Gogh travel forward in time to the 21st century and Van Gogh is able to see that he has made a difference and left the world more beautiful.

The museum guide, an expert in Van Gogh's art says of Vincent:
"He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy, joy, and magnificence of our world; no one had ever done it before, perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind that strange, wild man.... was not only the worlds greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived."

Transforming the pain of my tormented life into beauty and good is something I strive for every day. Most people I know like me are all trying to do this, but rarely does the world see our resiliency, gifts, or talents because too many people choose to focus only on the negative aspects of the illness.

After their trip to the future, Amy believes they have "saved" Van Gogh and prevented his suicide. After they return Vincent to his own time, she hurries back to 2010 and thinks she will see hundreds of new paintings by Van Gogh hanging in the museum. However, they were unable to "save" Van Gogh, and he still dies from suicide at 37 years old.

Bipolar disorder is complex and like any illness, it takes lives. We wish we could save everyone, but we can not. Sometimes we are unable to find the right treatment in time to prevent death by suicide. It is sad, and I wish this were different, but this is a reality our loved ones have to understand about mental illness. They need to understand this for their own well-being, because the burden of attempting to "save" someone is too much for anyone to bear.

Because they could not prevent his death, Amy thinks they did not make a difference to Van Gogh's life at all, but she is wrong. Showing someone compassion always makes a difference, it makes our life better, and we never forget it.

As Dr. Who says to Amy, "Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa. The bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And, we definitely added to his pile of good things."

I believe Vincent and the Doctor is the perfect show to watch on this, the first World Bipolar Day, for it reminds us that:

• Those of us with bipolar see and experience the wonder and beauty of the world, also it's pain and sadness, in a way that others do not. This can be a struggle at times, but it is also an amazing gift, a gift which we can use to make the world a better place.
• We may not always be able to fix or save someone, but we can always add to their pile of good things. The simplest way to do this is to show another person compassion.

In honor of World Bipolar Day, may we all add to someone's pile of good things today.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

FALSE: Bipolars Do Not Make Good Leaders

I recently read a blog post on PsychCentral by Dr. Yanni Malliaris called Bipolar Disorder: A First Rate Madness? His post is in response to a webinar he attended by Dr. Nassir Ghaemi who has researched the positive sides of bipolar disorder in his book A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Link Between Leadership and Mental Illness. In short, Dr. Ghaemi says people with bipolar disorder can make great leaders, especially in times of crisis. He also says depression can make you more realistic and mania makes you more creative. He adds that bipolars tend to have more empathy and are more intuitive than average.

Having not finished his book yet, I can't comment on his whole argument, but it does not seem new to me considering all the work Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison has done (a bipolar herself who has researched much about bipolars in leadership and creativity.) It also does not surprise me given how my bipolar disorder has helped me in my leadership abilities, especially in crisis.

In his blog post, Dr. Malliaris disagrees with Dr. Ghaemi's assertion that people with bipolar make good leaders. In fact he lists three reasons why he believes we are not. Dr. Malliaris says: "People with bipolar disorder cannot be great leaders at times of crisis." He says we actually do worse in crisis and don't handle it well because it can trigger cycling. He also says that when we have the more mild symptoms of depression and mania, that we are not more intuitive and creative, as Dr. Ghaemi suggests. Dr. Malliaris suggests instead of accessing the positive aspects of those times, we should be trying to get rid of the mild symptoms because they can lead to relapse. He also says that being goal-oriented is bad for people with bipolar disorder and that healthy bipolars need to work on being "lesser super-heroes."

I disagree with Dr. Malliaris but of course he is entitled to his opinion and what he sees from how he has helped his own patients. What I was very unhappy with in the blog post though was his condescending tone. He sounds overly critical and his argument is pretty soul-crushing to say that even trying to tap into anything good about our illness will only make us worse. I am sure he has helped many people, but to me is sounds like he still really does not know or understand people with bipolar disorder.

My bipolar disorder does make me a great leader during crisis. Sure it may drain me and I may need to adjust other parts of life to make sure I recharge and do not burn out, but that is part of managing the illness. I don't need to avoid crisis and leadership to manage my illness, actually working as a minister where you do deal with crisis, especially as a hospice chaplain, is extremely rewarding and energy giving to me. It allows me to see the positive aspects of my illness. In fact, the worse my illness is, the better it is for me to work. Work brings me joy and purpose in life and it's actually when I don't have enough work in my life that I get worse.

In my professional life, people have been very kind about the times when I need a bit more support when my illness is bad, which Dr. Malliaris seems to think is a negative thing (point 1 in his post.) However, I don't see it that way. Everyone, mentally ill or not, needs more support at certain times in their life. Community is about learning how to help each other so we can all bring our gifts into the world. 

Also, I am very creative, which is essential in my preaching, leadership, and work with people with dementia and mental illness. I know my creativity is part of the mania of bipolar disorder, but you can figure out how to use your creativity to do something good. And lastly, I don't know how I could ever be a minister if I was not intuitive and didn't have empathy for others.

He does give a quick note that there have been good leaders who also have bipolar, and does mention that we have to work twice as hard to be great leaders and manage the illness at the same time, but his post really seems to discourage people with bipolar from even trying to have leadership positions. That seems extremely sad to me.  

As I have written many times before, you do need to balance things and be aware of your triggers in order to manage your illness. But for Dr. Malliaris to say we really can't be good leaders is unrealistic to me. Managing bipolar disorder is figuring out your balance and learning to tap into what is great about yourself so you can have a happy, caring, and productive life. The idea that we have to get rid of all signs of our illness in order to be well seems wrong to me. I think it just promotes the idea that people with mental illness are scary, bad, and irresponsible. In my opinion, his post just increases the stigma against people with mental illness.

What do you think about Dr. Malliaris' assertion that "people with bipolar disorder can not be leaders in times of crisis?"

Blessings,

Rev. Katie