Whole30, Whole9 Lifestyle and Binge Eating Disorder Recovery

Because of my binge eating disorder, it has always been hard for me to stick to a healthy eating plan. Even when I lost a lot of weight on Weight Watchers, I did it by eating 4-5 Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches a day, McDonald's Happy Meals with a diet coke, and fat free cheese. A totally unhealthy lifestyle but it fit the "points"and I lost weight. However, I never addressed the food addiction so I never got better and put most of the weight back on. Stress would trigger cravings and I would think "I can have one milkshake." Next thing I know, I am driving out in the middle of the night to the 24hour Dunkin Donuts and binge eating at McDonalds three times a day.

The Whole30 diet that we are doing for this month is about so much more than just what food you eat, it is about a lifestyle change. They encourage eating organic fruits and veggies, and pastured, humanely raised meats if you have access to these things. They also promote a healthy sleep schedule, exercise, active recovery from exercise, stress management, personal growth, and more. I believe this time I have done so much better with my Whole30 because I have tried to incorporate all of their suggestions such as sleep, recovery, and personal growth. However, there was one thing that we did which I believe has helped in starting to break my binge eating disorder cycle.

Last week we took a visit to Fair View Meadow Farm where we get our locally raised, pastured, "happy" meat. This changed the way I think about processed food and overeating. I see these beautiful animals that help heal me and I think, "What a dishonor to them to binge on junk food when they have given so much for my health and healing." I also learned how much work the farmers have to do to bring such amazing food to our table and it really bothers me to think that I would eat manufactured Skittles from a bag or food that is made from factories or places like McDonald's where the animals, farmers, and workers are treated horribly. So not only have I not eaten anything that is not Whole30, but we have not eaten out anywhere, except a "naked" roast chicken from Whole Foods when we ran out of backup food on a trip. Once you learn how food is made and all the added stuff most companies and even family owned restaurants put into the food to make it saltier, fattier, and sweeter, it makes you see things differently. It is ethically irresponsible for me, since I do have a choice and the resources to choose where I eat, to participate in a system that is unjust.

So my biggest challenge this Whole30 is not overeating dried and regular fruit because that is where I can see the binge eating disorder taking over. I can still also overeat wholesome food, and it is a myth that "no one overeats broccoli and fish." If there is nothing else to eat in the house, yes I will overeat whatever is there. That in itself was an important thing for me to learn because everyone tells you no one overeats healthy food and so you don't even realize the disorder is as bad as it is. But again, knowing where the food comes from has helped me realize that overeating good food is just wasting it. I should not waste food, instead I should eat well and honor the animals and people who brought me the food, as well as honor my own body which does not deserve to be filled with chemicals, antibiotics, food dye, and processed oils which hurt and do not heal me.

I know recovery from an eating disorder is a long road and often includes relapse (like the homemade beef jerky I ate like it was a bag of potato chips last night), but it is clear to me that I see things differently now than I did before.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Gratitude for the Food that Heals Me

Today we went to Fair View Meadow Farm to see where our meat comes from. A while ago, through our CrossFit gym we started buying grass-fed, pastured meat and eggs from the buying club with Fair View Meadow Farm. As we got more into the Paleo lifestyle and in order to support sustainable ethical eating, we then ordered a whole cow from the farm which means we do not have to buy meat from the grocery store which comes from who knows where, using inhumane farming, hormones, and excess fossil fuels for transportation. (Here is a great post about pork from Whole9 The Conscientious Omnivore: Pigs and Pork.) The meat tastes a ton better than meat from the grocery, it has no antibiotics and hormones in it, it is much leaner, and cheaper too.

We chose to start eating this way because the Paleo diet was recommended to me by my doctors to help treat my bipolar disorder, and as long as I stick to it, it really works. We have been really strict Paleo, doing a Whole30 starting January 1, 2013, and this has helped in many ways. I will expand on that in another post, but overall my mood has evened out, I have more energy, better cognitive function, and the ability to follow through on other treatment such as exercise. I have not needed as much Ativan, and that is the only medication I am on right now- taken maybe just a few times a week.

Nathan Joppeck from Fair View Meadow Farm offered to show us the farm and our son really liked the idea saying "I would like to see what a cow looks like when it is not in block form." (This is a Minecraft reference and also because he has never seen a cow except meat in a freezer.) I was glad he wanted to know where his food comes from. Since we have also ordered a whole pig, we went out to the farm to meet the group of pigs ours will come from, and see all the other animals.

Jeffrey, Katie, & Jeff with the cows.

They are a multi-species farm raising cows, chickens, sheep, and pigs. They also grow organic fruits and vegetables. The animals rotate feeding on different parts of the pasture so the earth is sustainable and the animals are humanely raised. No animal is penned up or shut in like in factory farming. Clearly I can't describe the specifics of all that they do, but basically the animals get to lead healthy and happy lives.

I thought when I went out there that I might have a hard time looking into the animals eyes knowing I would be eating one or more of them at some time.

Photo by Jeff Norris.

This is a hard thing for me, being a Unitarian Universalist and respecting the interdependent web of existence and eating animals. Many people in our faith insist that the only ethical way to eat is by being vegetarian, yet they do not realize that you can be an ethical meat eater and some of us actually have medical reasons why we need to eat meat. The proteins derived from soy or legumes are incomplete for someone like me and also soy and legumes bother my digestive tract and make me sick not only in body but in mind as well. As I saw these animals today, I felt a huge appreciation for them because they help save my life.

They allow me to treat my illness without tons of medication. They allow me to care for my family, remain healthy, and be someone who can contribute positively to the world. Without them my health is greatly compromised. Bipolar disorder and anxiety are serious illnesses and my treatment includes a specific diet of animal protein which is as free-range and organic possible. These animals literally heal me. Rather than feel guilty and bad about needing meat to treat my illness, I now have a great appreciation for the animals. I really see it as more of a spiritual connection that allows me to see them as the amazing beings that they truly are rather than just something from a store that I have no relationship to.

I was also glad that our son got to see just how much work the farmers have to do to bring food to our table. He learned the importance of these animals and how they help care for and heal us. He knows food does not come from a box.

In gratitude for all that sustains and heals us, we have added to our dinner prayer "We thank the earth and all of the farmers and animals which brought us this food."

Blessings,

Rev. Katie