Miley Cyrus Shames Sinead O'Connor for Having Mental Illness

This is the first of two posts on the Miley and Sinead issue. Please see my other post here. (Basically, I think both of them did things that were not all that helpful.)

Some of you may be following the Miley Cyrus/Sinead O/Connor debacle. Basically due to concern over Miley's recent performance on the Video Music Awards, her Wrecking Ball video, and then Miley saying that she was inspired by Sinead's work, Sinead wrote an open letter to Miley. Sinead voiced her concern that Miley was allowing the music industry to exploit her. Miley replied immediately by shaming Sinead for having mental illness.

First of all, I can't even believe I wrote the paragraph above. I feel like I am in high school with a bunch of petty girls who don't know how to communicate directly with each other.

Second, I believe both Sinead and Miely behaved poorly in this encounter. Indirect communication almost always ends in fighting and slander. I do understand the greater purpose in open letters and possibly why Sinead made that choice. Open letters are not only for the person you are writing to, but they are a social commentary, written to bring larger issues to light to society. Sinead's letter was not really just a message for Miley, but for the music industry as well and to raise awareness in our society about the industry and how it exploits people. I think it was also a message to young women who might idolize Miley and want to act like her.

Copyright: Katie Norris

 Miley's response to Sinead's letter was to post old tweets from Sinead when she was in the middle of a mental health crisis, asking for help. Miley tweets these by first shaming Amanda Bynes by tweeting "Before Amanda Bynes...There was..." and then posting the old tweets from Sinead about needing mental health care. (Amanda Bynes was recently in the psychiatric hospital.)

This whole thing is a great example of why every person with mental illness knows it is not safe to tell our story and it is not safe to ask for help when we need it. In her last tweet Sinead says "I realize I will be in trouble for saying this but...Ireland is a VERY hard place to find help in. So having tried other ways first, I'm asking."

She was right. She did get in trouble for asking for help and being proactive about her treatment. Two years later it is being used against her.

While I am not thrilled with the indirect communication between these two women and the vitrol with which both of them communicate, I do think that this whole ordeal brings up a few of the issues people with mental illness struggle with.

First is that we are not free to ask for help or tell our story because other people will not only judge us negativly in our time of need, but also for the rest of our lives.

Second it shows how if you talk about your mental illness, few people ever take your seriously again and they will use your illness against you if they have a disagreement with you.

Third it points out just how hard it is for people with mental illness to find work. Sinead came out with another open letter to Miley stating: "If you cannot apologize I will have no choice but to bring legal precedings against you since it is extremely hard to be given work when people think one is suffering from mental illness."

Fourth, Sinead's statement quoted above shows a deeper issue in society. We tend to promote a myth that mental illness goes away, that you recover from it and it never effects you again. We like this myth because it is convenient for society to think it's an illness that can be cured. For those of us living with it we play into the myth as well because we know society cannot handle the reality that mental illness is a chronic illness so we cover up the fact that we live with it every day. For some people yes, the illness is something they completely recover from, but this is rare. In order for people to hire you, listen to you, even think you deserve a family or a life at all, you have to pretend like you are fine most of the time. I find it sad that even those of us living with mental illness have to pretend like we don't have it because society does not understand that even in the midst of pretty severe illness we can work and be reliable.

I think this whole Cyrus vs. O'Connor thing has gotten way out of hand. They are just both shaming each other back and forth. When we use shame tactics to "teach" others, it never works out well. Shame destroys people and I think we can see how this is happening to both of these women.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

If you cannot apologize I will have no choice but to bring legal proceedings against you since it is extremely hard to be given work when people think one is suffering from mental illness. - See more at: http://perezhilton.com/2013-10-04-miley-cyrus-third-open-letter-from-sinead-oconnor-facebook-feud#sthash.Wxj4Id8H.dpuf

If you cannot apologize I will have no choice but to bring legal proceedings against you since it is extremely hard to be given work when people think one is suffering from mental illness. - See more at: http://perezhilton.com/2013-10-04-miley-cyrus-third-open-letter-from-sinead-oconnor-facebook-feud#sthash.Wxj4Id8H.dpuf

If you cannot apologize I will have no choice but to bring legal proceedings against you since it is extremely hard to be given work when people think one is suffering from mental illness. - See more at: http://perezhilton.com/2013-10-04-miley-cyrus-third-open-letter-from-sinead-oconnor-facebook-feud#sthash.Wxj4Id8H.dpuf

Halloween Tip: How to Dress Like a Crazy Person!?

Halloween. A fantastic holiday where you can be anyone you want to be and eat tons of candy. Some of my favorite costumes through the years have been Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Bright, a girl from the 50's, Belle, and some really great spiderweb eye makeup one year. I love to dress up like other people, but did you know that for around $30 you can dress up this Halloween like me?

Apparently, according to Sears Department Stores, I look like this:

 

There are quite a few options on Amazon, including this one here, but you really need to get the "crazy eyes" down to make it look authentic:

If you spend $50 apparently you can get the sexy version of "Goin' Out of My Mind":

Oppressive, and stigmatizing costumes abound at Halloween. Please choose your costumes wisely.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

P.S. Good news from the UK, "mental patient" costumes were taken out of stores recently! 

Another Shooting, Another Discussion of Mental Illness

After the shooting at the Navy Yard this week, of course the media turns to mental illness as a cause. Unlike many of the other recent shootings, there is documentation that the shooter, Aaron Alexis, probably had some form of mental illness. He did report hearing voices and other paranoid beliefs weeks prior to this event. However, for me, the key is not that there was documented possible mental illness (he had never been officially diagnosed) but that he also had documented past gun offenses and more importantly, he received poor mental health care. (I wonder why a person with previous gun offenses even had a gun, and those offenses apparently occurred before he ever reported experiencing paranoia or any mental health issues.) It is not the mental illness alone that causes an event like this, it is a combination of factors.

Apparently Alexis had spoken to police weeks before about hearing voices through the walls and the police reported it to the Navy and nothing was done. Then Alexis went to the Veterans Affairs ER twice for insomnia but did not mention the paranoia, and he was given sleeping pills. To give sleeping pills to someone with possible mental illness is just wrong. Clearly there is something wrong in the system that Alexis was given those pills, on two separate occasions, even though police had reported that he was experiencing paranoia. Some sleeping pills can increase risks of suicide and depression. Many medications can interact with mental illness negatively, such as how antidepressants trigger manic episodes in people with bipolar disorder. You have to correctly diagnose the mental illness before you start perscribing medications. To me it seems that previous issues with violence and gun offences combined with poor regulation of medicine is more of a possible cause of this shooting than just blamining it on mental illness alone.

When we just look at mental illness in general as a cause, we promote the idea that all people with mental illness are as much of a risk to society as Alexis was on that day. We assume if we never let anyone with a mental illness have a gun, there will be no more shootings. This is not true, especially since most shootings are not committed by people with mental illness. There are many factors which go into creating the perfect storm that lead to an event like this, and possible mental illness is one factor for this particular situation. However, I know many people who hear voices, think they are being followed, and have paranoia who are not violent, have never used a gun, and have never committed a crime.

I think we also need to look at the fact that the stigma against mental illness is terrible in our society, but especially bad in the military. This means most people do not even seek treatment for mental illness. We know that people in the military are not able to ask for help with mental health issues for fear of loosing their job, even for very mild mental health issues. Maybe Alexis could have gotten help earlier if he would have felt safe enough to get mental health care much earlier when mild symptoms probably presented themselves months ago, if not years ago. 

I just wish we would look at each of these cases individually and not lump violence and mental illness into a category together which stigmatizes all people with mental illness. We need to look at each person individually.

Clearly we need better mental health care, not only because of events like this where poor mental health care is very likely to be a factor, but also for the 1 in 4 Americans with mental illness who need better care- and most of them are not violent. The need for better mental health care is not because of violence, it is because people with mental illness deserve good care and a chance at the best life possible.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Creativity and Recovery

I recently gave a presentation at a conference to mental health care providers and consumers of mental health care and I was reminded of why I do this work. It focused on all of the mind, body, and spirit changes and activities we can do to create a stable foundation for our recovery. Of course, part of this included talking about how important and healing it can be to bring creativity into your treatment plan. Many people do not see creativity as an essential part of recovery, but it is. Creativity is not only a mind and body activity, but a spiritual one as well. When we create things, we tap into our inner wisdom and power. We discover how amazing we are, how we can create something so beautiful or interesting. When we create something, we are reminded of how we do contribute special things to this world, not only for ourselves but for those around us sometimes too. We also feel the power of something greater than ourselves. Maybe that is God for some of us, the Universe, greater humanity, or the Spirit of Love. Through creating something special, we feel a sense of awe and wonder at all that is in the Universe.

Many people do not understand this spiritual and important part of creativity, especially people who do not consider themselves artistic. However, every time I have asked someone to keep an open mind and just try a simple art project with me, they end up being proud of what they did. They see themselves in a new light, and they love the fact that they created something special. It makes them happy.

I was reminded of this at the conference when I asked everyone to engage in a mediative art practice inspired by the Zentangle® method. In this practice, you create patterns, any patterns you imagine, on a small sheet of paper. You do this in pen, which helps you accept things as they are. We let people know that there is no wrong way to create this art, and in so doing, this helps people learn to accept themselves as they are. Creating patterns allows your mind to slow down and become calm, which is great in all kinds of situations, especially in helping with anxiety. When people see the finished product of what they made, they see the beauty and feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.

Meditative Art Practice. Bipolar Spirit©

After everyone finished their meditative art I asked how they felt. One man, who is just about a year into recovery from mental illness, said that he never considered himself an artist, but he liked what he created. He said this simple art piece made him feel like he had worth. All of his repetitive thoughts of self-loathing, despair, and thinking he was not good enough stopped for a bit when he saw what he had made. He said the art showed him that he was not worthless. We talked about how every time those negative thoughts come to his mind, he can look at this piece of art and know he has worth, he is creative, he contributes to the world, and the world can be beautiful.

This is why I do this work. I show people different ways they have agency in their own treatment and help them find things that give them strength, hope, and purpose. People need support for all the times between visits to therapists and doctors, and they need to know they have the ability to be active in their recovery. People with mental illness need to know that something as simple as a 4"x4" piece of paper and a pen can stop a panic attack or manic episode. It can help you manage your illness enough so that you can remain in recovery rather than end up in a hospital ward.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

No Home's Complete Without a Rabbit

Today ends a legacy in our family, an era. Since 1998, for fifteen years, we have had house rabbits. My husband and I got our first bunny together when we were in college. Then our next bunny was my wedding gift from Jeff to me. After that, all our bunnies were adopted. Our third bunny was one a neighbor bought for their child on Valentine's Day but they could not keep it. Our fourth bunny was found dumped in a local park after Easter one year, and our fifth bunny was from a friend who could not keep her. We agree with Clare Turlay Newberry when she writes: "No home's complete without a rabbit."

Some people are not pet people and don't quite get the connection many of us have with our animals. We love our furry family members and are grateful for having them in our lives. House rabbits are not your typical pet, and having a bunny is a new experience in animal parenting. There is a lot of misunderstanding about how to properly care for a bunny and you need a vet that specializes in rabbits. They have special souls who bring a lot of love to a house. Having bunnies in general taught us a lot about life, but in particular, each one taught me something special.

Bunny #1: Freckles
Freckles ate through walls, box springs, and all other various furniture pieces. He begged at the table like a dog, and loved being with people. From him I learned that I could handle a lot more than I thought I could. Both Freckles and Dot got GI stasis often (where their stomach gets clogged with hair) because of their breed. If they do not get fluids fast enough, they can die, so we learned how administer subcutaneous fluids to the bunnies. You would often find us in the kitchen with an IV bag hanging from our ceiling. Freckles also taught me that even the smallest being can feel and give love and express gratitude for their family. He loved giving me kisses on the nose.

Bunny #2: Dot
Dot was the Queen Bunny. She was bossy and assertive. She nipped at your ankles when you were in her way. She taught me to be yourself, and interestingly enough, she was an example of a strong woman who knew what she wanted. Dot, Freckles, and Lando were also Mini Rex rabbits, the breed with the softest fur, which are also the breed of the rabbit in The Velveteen Rabbit. These bunnies have big hearts and share a lot of love.

One heart for each bunny was buried with Lando.

Bunny # 3: Val
Val was a little grey dwarf rabbit and he was really laid back. He just took life as it came, hanging out with his siblings. He taught me to be more relaxed about life. Nothing ever seemed to phase him.

Bunny #4: Circuit
Circuit was unlike any bunny we had before. He was an albino with red eyes and probably for that reason he was dumped in a park after Easter. Many people dump bunnies after Easter, but especially albino bunnies because the red eyes scare people and they call them "devil bunnies." Being abandoned effected him his whole life. He was sweet, yet cranky, and he totally fell in love with his bunny siblings. If you did something he did not like, he would snort at you and stomp his feet. He taught me that even if you have been hurt before, abandoned and left in the wild, you can learn to trust and love again.

Bunny #5: Lando Bunrissian
Lando was just a sweet bunny. For some reason, she was our only bunny that was sick a lot and we could never figure out why. She would loose weight rapidly at times and often had respiratory infections. We ran many tests and never could figure out what was wrong. Lando taught me to always maintain a bright outlook on life. Even when she was sick, she was always just a happy bunny. In her last days, she looked terrible, but she was hopping around and never seemed to be in any pain.

We buried Lando today under the "bunny tree" near her brother Circuit and five paper hearts, one for each bunny we have had. We all talked about our favorite memories of each bunny and we read our favorite poem about bunnies which of course ends with: "No home's compete without a rabbit." I don't know when our home will feel complete again without our bunny children who taught us so much.

P.S.: Actually, my first bunnies were a small litter of bunnies I rescued when I was a child. Most of them died right away, but one held on a little longer. I fed it through a dropper and kept it warm in a little box with towels. I really wanted that bunny to live and thought that if I just could give it enough love, it would survive. This little bunny taught me that we can't save everyone, no matter how hard we try. After my bunny died, my Dad wrote me a note reminding me that I had tried as hard as I could, the bunny was grateful for my love, and that we never completely loose those we love. I still have that note today as it was so important in my understanding of life and death. It is what I pass on to our son every time one of his bunnies has passed away.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

How To Stop A Panic Attack in Two Minutes

A few weeks ago, I found myself on vacation in a situation that caused such panic I thought we would have to end our vacation just after it had begun. My husband, son, and I went to GenCon (yes, a gaming convention, we are quite geeky) and while I have been at many conventions for all sorts of things before, this one was really crowded and the convention center was so convoluted that you were often in places that had no exit to the outside near you. As some of you know, I panic when I do not know I can easily get out of a room or situation. Thus, large buildings with few exits like conventions centers, indoor malls, movie theaters, and hospitals scare me to death.

As soon as we walked into the convention center, I was a wreck. I got overheated and sweaty, I was breathing fast, I was shaking, and I felt sick. I was having a terrible panic attack. No matter what I did- deep breathing, repeating to myself that I was safe, talking to my family to distract me- nothing stopped the panic and I did not have my Ativan with me. I went into the convention center and saw a corsetiere booth and knew I could stop my panic attack in two minutes.

At another convention I had bought a corset as a costume piece and while wearing it I noticed I was calm and did not feel my usual constant anxiety or have panic attacks.

As soon as the corset was laced up, I calmed down. My husband and son were surprised at my almost instant turn around. We were able to continue our vacation and I had no more panic that weekend, all because of the corset.

Copyright: J. Norris

It is not surprising to me that a corset can calm panic, since deep touch pressure has been used for many years with animals (such as the Thundershirt), and now for people with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Deep touch pressure became more popular and widely studied by Dr. Temple Grandin after she discovered that she was calmed after putting herself into a squeeze chute made for cows.

The corset is not that different than the weighted clothing they make for autistic children. The nice thing about the corset is that you can adjust the amount of pressure throughout the day. There are also different lengths of corsets.  You can get some that are smaller which cover mostly just your waist (waist cincher or short underbust corset), or one that goes farther up your back and chest (overbust corset), depending on how much pressure you need over your body. When I am really manic in the evenings sometimes I will put on my obverbust corset, which covers my whole torso. They do make corsets for men as well and you can get a corset made to your exact measurements and body shape, such as an asymmetrical corsets if you have one hip higher than the other. You can wear corsets under your clothes, but I find it more uncomfortable and a bit hard to handle because you can not adjust the pressure of the corset if it is under your clothes, especially a dress.

Corset under clothes. Copyright: J. Norris

I will write more posts in the future about with details about corset wearing, but in the mean time, Lucy's Corsetry will tell you everything you need to know about getting a good corset and how to properly wear one.

For me, wearing a corset is a quick and safe fix for panic and mania. I can wear it all day, it's adjustable, and it does not cause addiction like anti-anxiety medications such as Ativan do. I would like to use Ativan all day due to how much anxiety I have, but I can't because it is an addictive substance. However, I can use the corset all the time and it is totally safe. (Read about corset safety here.)

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

P.S.: The corset I am wearing in these photos is the short underbust corset from Timeless Trends.

Stigma Alert: NBC Nightly News: Ariel Castro, "The Face of Mental Illness."

If you live in Cleveland, Ohio like I do, you know the story of kidnapper Ariel Castro who held three women captive in his home for 11 years. It is a tragic story that has effected our community greatly. I would never justify what he did, and I will not argue that he does not have some form of mental illness. It is possible that he does. However, I do not agree with NBC reporter Brian Williams (or whoever his text writer is) saying that Ariel Castro is "the face of mental illness."


Again, this is just the media promoting stigma against people with mental illness. We can not say that the few people with mental illness who are violent represent mental illness as a whole. In previous posts I have written about the facts of violence and mental illness, namely incidents of violent crimes are low in people with mental illness and we are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. 

I don't understand why the news media can not report these stories without throwing everyone with mental illness under a bus. If he has been diagnosed with a mental illness and part of his illness led to criminal activity, you can report that. You do not speculate as to possible mental illness and you do not generalize that mental illness means a person is violent.

Is it any wonder that people with mental illness have to hide who they are even to the point of not seeking treatment? Everyone is afraid of us because of media hype like this and that means we are at serious risk for physical and emotional violence against us if we ever speak up. 

Ariel Castro is not "the face of mental illness." He is the face of his possible illness and his crimes.

The real faces of mental illness are the faces of many amazing people who contribute beautiful things to this world. 

Want to do something about this now? SIGN THIS PETITION to NBC asking for an apology.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

P.S. For another blog post on this subject, visit Pete Earley's blog where he shows how Brian Williams violated the Style Book of the Associated Press which states how reporters should talk about mental illness.