New York Daily News Crosses the Line with Robin Williams Cover

I know the New York Daily News is just a tabloid, so we can't expect much from it. However, even a tabloid paper should have a better sense of human decency and respect than to do this to anyone:

From NY Daily News Facebook Page.

For the love of all things holy, what is wrong with the people that work at this place?

If we ever wonder if stigma against people with mental illness is still alive, and if people are made fun of and shamed for death by suicide, this proves that both of those things are still true. 

I guess I should be less naive than to think that because people are inherently good (darn my Universalist theology), that they would not throw all of their morals and compassion out the door for money. Because, really, all this cover does is use sensationalism to sell more papers. 

I would love for the editor, owner, or someone in charge at the New York Daily News to explain how they ever thought this was an acceptable cover. It crosses the line from sensationalist journalism to irresponsible, heartless, and offensive. 

I not only hold the newspaper accountable for creating such a horrific cover, but also all the people who bought it. If a large group of our population was not just as heartless, then there would be no reason for the New York Daily News to create something like this.

I don't even know where to start with why this is so offensive. Viscerally most people would look at this and just know on a million different levels that this is wrong, but here are a few points to mention:

• He was not "hanged." If someone dies from a complication of their illness, you do not phrase it in this way. A person who died from cancer would not have been "tumored."
• The general public does not need to know details of how he died. Reports on death due to other illnesses rarely ever include descriptors of exactly what happened. This further stigmatizes mental illness. 
• The graphic description of his death is triggering for people who have been, or who are currently suicidal. 
• Why deliberately put his family and friends through even more anguish by printing something like this?
• What does where his wife slept have to do with this story? Clearly the paper was just trying to hurt her as well.
• The format looks like a wanted poster, further stigmatizing mental illness. 
• Creates a sense of shame around mental illness and death by suicide. 

It's just sad that we live in a culture where dozens of people (at least) saw this cover, approved it before it went to print, and they all thought, "Yes, that looks great. Not heartless at all. I can endorse this and still sleep well tonight." And then hundreds more people bought the darn thing! 

(For a better version of this cover, see this modified Daily News cover by Alan Scherstuhl.) 

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

There Are No "Demons Inside"

Joan Raymond wrote an article for NBC News about how teens with mental illness often hide their illness. The article raises the issues of why teens hide their illness, such as how during the teen years, anyone who is "different" is often bullied. It discusses how mental illness is seen in society as scary or weird, and so teens feel unsafe talking about how they are doing. The article also talks about how hard it is to actually even get mental health care for teens. Overall, it's a decent article that raises important issues. (I disagree with putting in the parts about the school shootings, and a quote from a teen accused of plotting violence who self-diagnoses and says "I think I am just really mentally-ill." The research does not support violence being linked to mental illness, and I have written about that previously.) It's an article that is meant to raise awareness so that we can do something, help teens feel safe to speak about their illness and get them proper treatment.

However, the title negates the whole message:

"Demons Inside: Teens at Risk Can Hide Mental Illness"

What teen or parent of a teen with mental illness would ever read this article and feel safe talking about mental illness when the title equates mental illness with "demons inside?" The title is emblazoned across a photo of Kenny Baker and his parents. Kenny died by suicide at 19 years old due to depression and anxiety. I feel for his parents. How it must hurt to see a beautiful photo of them with their child, and have the words "Demons Inside" splashed across it.

Mental illness has nothing to do with demons or inherent evil. Using a title like this promotes stigma and fear- the very things the article was attempting to combat. This "demon" idea is an old, outdated belief that stems from fear, in a time when we had no medical and scientific understanding of the brain. We no longer live in the middle ages. And yet, many people still believe people with mental illness are inherently evil, have let the devil into their soul, or are possessed by demons. Consistently since I started this blog a few years ago, the number one search term that brings people to my blog is "bipolar caused by evil spirits." If you read the comments on the NBC article, you will see quite a few people who think that mental illness is caused by the devil. We can not be promoting those ideas.

I have had mental illness since I was six years old. I remember news stories about murders or violent crime and hearing the terms mental illness, demons, evil, and possession being used all the time as reasons for the violence. I knew something was wrong with my brain, and there was no way I was going to tell anyone. What kid wants to be told they are inherently evil? What child or teen would ever feel safe in that environment?

Equating mental illness with demons and inherent evil that you have no control over also gives children and teens the message that no matter what they do, they will always be evil. They will never get better. They have no future, no chance in life.

There are no words to describe the immense self-fear and loathing this message creates. To be taught that even if you try to be good and kind, you never can be. To be told that at some point, because you are evil or possessed, you will hurt other people. This means there is no hope for you. You have no worth, no dignity, and no soul. And if there is no hope for you, then seeking out treatment is not an option. It's a terrible life sentence, and I am extremely disappointed to see this message in 2014 promoted by NBC News because they chose to sensationalize the title to get more readers.

I emailed Joan Raymond about my concerns with the title, but have not heard anything back yet. Who knows if she or her editors chose the title. Whoever it was, they were being very irresponsible.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Halloween Tip: How to Dress Like a Crazy Person!?

Halloween. A fantastic holiday where you can be anyone you want to be and eat tons of candy. Some of my favorite costumes through the years have been Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Bright, a girl from the 50's, Belle, and some really great spiderweb eye makeup one year. I love to dress up like other people, but did you know that for around $30 you can dress up this Halloween like me?

Apparently, according to Sears Department Stores, I look like this:

 

There are quite a few options on Amazon, including this one here, but you really need to get the "crazy eyes" down to make it look authentic:

If you spend $50 apparently you can get the sexy version of "Goin' Out of My Mind":

Oppressive, and stigmatizing costumes abound at Halloween. Please choose your costumes wisely.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

P.S. Good news from the UK, "mental patient" costumes were taken out of stores recently! 

Stigma Alert: NBC Nightly News: Ariel Castro, "The Face of Mental Illness."

If you live in Cleveland, Ohio like I do, you know the story of kidnapper Ariel Castro who held three women captive in his home for 11 years. It is a tragic story that has effected our community greatly. I would never justify what he did, and I will not argue that he does not have some form of mental illness. It is possible that he does. However, I do not agree with NBC reporter Brian Williams (or whoever his text writer is) saying that Ariel Castro is "the face of mental illness."


Again, this is just the media promoting stigma against people with mental illness. We can not say that the few people with mental illness who are violent represent mental illness as a whole. In previous posts I have written about the facts of violence and mental illness, namely incidents of violent crimes are low in people with mental illness and we are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. 

I don't understand why the news media can not report these stories without throwing everyone with mental illness under a bus. If he has been diagnosed with a mental illness and part of his illness led to criminal activity, you can report that. You do not speculate as to possible mental illness and you do not generalize that mental illness means a person is violent.

Is it any wonder that people with mental illness have to hide who they are even to the point of not seeking treatment? Everyone is afraid of us because of media hype like this and that means we are at serious risk for physical and emotional violence against us if we ever speak up. 

Ariel Castro is not "the face of mental illness." He is the face of his possible illness and his crimes.

The real faces of mental illness are the faces of many amazing people who contribute beautiful things to this world. 

Want to do something about this now? SIGN THIS PETITION to NBC asking for an apology.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

P.S. For another blog post on this subject, visit Pete Earley's blog where he shows how Brian Williams violated the Style Book of the Associated Press which states how reporters should talk about mental illness.

Don't Let New Gun Control Regulations Increase Stigma Against Mental Illness

Today President Obama signed 23 Executive Actions on Gun Violence, called Now is the Time (the .pdf of this document can be found on CNN.) Part of the plan talks about mental illness "even as we acknowledge someone with a mental illness is far more likely to be a victim of a violent crime than a perpetrator," says President Obama.

Now is the Time has quite a long plan for dealing with mental illness including encouraging doctors and other mental health care facilitators to report "direct and credible threats of violence to the authorities." It states the government will "Launch a national conversation to increase understanding about mental health: The sense of shame and secrecy associated with mental illness prevents too many people from seeking help. The President is directing Secretaries Sebelius and Duncan to launch a national dialogue about mental illness with young people who have experienced mental illness, members of the faith community, foundations, and school and business leaders." The government will also seek to ensure coverage of mental health treatment and provide more mental health services to children and youth since the majority of mental illnesses appear before the age of 24. 

I am glad that mental illness is getting more attention and there will now be a national discussion on what good mental health care should look like. I am sad that this had to come about after a shooting when in fact, as the President said, people with mental illness are more likely to be the victim of a crime than a perpetrator. Having the conversation come about in this way just makes the stigma worse. The Presidents plan at least mentions the fact that the stigma against mental illness is high and we need a conversation around that so people can get the help they need. I would like to have faith that with more education the public will not equate violence with mental illness, but I doubt that will happen. 

I think we have to face the fact that what really happened today is we have inadvertently greatly increased the stigma against people with mental illness.

I am not saying we should not be doing the things this document suggests, I just see the realities of what this means for people with mental illness since we tied better mental health care to a violent tragedy in our society.

In terms of reporting people with mental illness to the authorities, the document says to report "direct and credible threats of violence." To me this seems pretty clear that they will have some good guidelines on what is a direct and credible threat. Hopefully such things as cutting, thoughts of violence but no plans, even recurring violent nightmares will not be things that the government encourages to be reported. These are all things that do not actually indicate a violent person and are well taken care of in treatment. For instance, people with PTSD or even severe anxiety may see recurrent violent images in their mind, sometimes from an incident they saw in the past but do not really remember, incidents they do remember, or things they are afraid will happen. I could see how someone with these issues would not want to mention them because unless you have a really good mental health provider who understands mental illness and how the brain works, someone could completely overreact. This means less people will get help and they will be living with these scary images without learning how to resolve or diminish them.

What sounds even more concerning to me though are other laws like New York States new gun control law which "requires physicians, psychologists, nurses or clinical social workers to alert local health officials if a patient 'is likely to engage in conduct that would result in serious harm to self or others.' After an evaluation, the health officials would pass on the person's information to law-enforcement agencies that would be authorized to seize any firearm owned by the patient. If a person is found not to own any firearms, the patient would be added to a statewide criminal background check database, marking a significant expansion of who would be made ineligible to legally buy a firearm."

This is more of an issue for me because "serious harm to self or others" is not a very clear definition. What is "serious harm?" Also, even if you do not want a firearm and will never apply for one, you will now be added to the criminal background check database which could seriously affect your ability to get a job if this part of the background check that is accessible to employers. If it is, now your background check will forever state that you have a mental illness and no matter how stable you are, all employers will see is that something came up on your background check, not who you are. Again, this will lead to less people seeking treatment. As it stands right now, 60% of people with mental illness do not seek treatment due to stigma. This number will rise.

These are just some of the issues I see in this preliminary discussion of gun control and mental illness and I am interested to see where this goes. As someone who does not want a gun, I really don't care if I get on a list that says I can't have one. However, there are great police officers and military personnel who should be able to get treatment for their mental illness and not risk loosing their job. Also, it just makes me sad that I could be tossed on a list of "violent" people just because I have an illness which most people, even many mental health professionals, don't understand. No matter how we define all these terms of what is "violent," "serious harm," and a "credible threat," the fact is people are scared of those of us with brain disease and they will scapegoat us and overreact instead of trying to help and heal. 

My best suggestion is that those of us with mental illness who can speak up, do. Tell our stories and show another side of the illness that is not all about relating the need for better health care to violence, but to the need that we create a community that helps people thrive.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

When They Say Mental Illness Is Not Real

One of the main issues which comes up in my discussions with other people with mental illness that causes them the most pain and spiritual despair is when family and friends refuse to accept that mental illness is real.

It just seems ridiculous to me to say that an illness well known by the medical field and which we can see on a brain scan is not real. These people who say mental illness is not real always, without fail, say that instead people use mental illness as an excuse not to take care of their life, themselves, and take responsibility for their life. I am always amazed that anyone would think someone would chose to have the difficulties people with mental illness have. No one wants this.

As I talked about this with my husband, he made me realize something, he said "Saying mental illness is not real is just a cop-out." So true. It is just denial. Family and friends who claim their loved one does not have mental illness can not admit to themselves that there is a problem, someone is sick, and they need help. It is their inability to deal with reality that makes them use this cop-out. And frankly, most of these people in denial have their own issues they need to work on and seeing someone else working on their life and trying to get better, is a reminder to them that they can not face the reality of their own life. This fear of theirs takes away their ability to be compassionate towards someone else.

If you have someone in your life that believes your illness is not real, I hate to say that you probably will never change their mind. Even if you show them test results, brain scans, and have them talk to doctors. I actually had one person in my life say that I was having my psychiatrist lie for me and say I had mental illness so that I could get away with being irresponsible in my life. So, these people will most likely never understand and it is extremely hurtful to you to have to try and defend yourself all the time. To sit and be made fun of, ridiculed, and shamed because you have an illness. No one would ever do that with someone who had cancer or Multiple Sclerosis and no one should do it to you.

Photo by K. Norris. (Hapkido, but you get the idea)

If people are hurting you in this way, you might think that you should ask them, kindly, not to talk about your illness anymore since you can't agree. However, this approach will probably just enrage them further and cause more attacks on you. Try giving them a little bit of information such as "I am working with my therapist on calming my anxiety." Just think of some short answer that does not offend them, gives them little information, but helps redirect or stop the conversation. Think of it as verbal Tai Chi where instead of countering your opponent's force, you deflecting it. You can also only put yourself in safe situations such as seeing them at large events when other people are around or meet them for coffee in public rather than have them over to your house. It's all about not falling into their trap and perpetuating the unhealthy system they are creating.

These people in your life are not bad people, they are just doing something that is extremely unkind. It really does not have anything to do with you but with whatever issues they have in their own life. Send them thoughts of loving kindness and move on with your life. One day they may come around, but in the mean time you need to take care of yourself.

Stay strong friends!
Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Speculation Around the Batman Shooting Increasing Stigma Against Mental Illness

There are many news stories speculating that James Holmes, the 24 year old that opened fire during the midnight showing of the new Batman: Dark Night Rises movie in Aurora, Colorado last Friday, has a mental illness. This is all speculation since no doctor of his has said he has a mental illness and he has not entered a plea stating that he has one. It has been all over my Facebook page of friends saying he has a mental illness and people commenting that he "looks crazy" in the photos from his initial court appearance today.

I am deeply saddened by the extreme violence in our society that keeps happening over and over again. I feel for the families of the 12 who died and the over 50 people wounded. I can't believe that this happens and it makes me scared that it seems like no place is safe anymore.

At the same time, I am also appalled by how almost every time a violent act is committed, particularly by a Caucasian, people start diagnosing mental illness. There are news reporters, Psychologists who report for the media that it likely someone has a mental illness even though they are not the person's doctor, and the random public who all say this. All over Facebook I see people claiming Mr. Holmes had a "psychotic break," he "must be schizophrenic," he just "looks crazy," and "people typically have their first episode of schizophrenia in their 20's and he is 24 so that's what he must have."

Every time our society blames violence on mental illness, we promote the hysteria, stigma, and fear of mental illness. I was shocked to find out that the National Alliance on Mental Illness was asked by the news media what the warning signs are for someone like Mr. Holmes. NAMI created a great response, stating that incidents of violent crimes are very low in people with mental illness and no one should be diagnosing Mr. Holmes unless they are his doctor. I wish they would have also challenged the public media to not slap the label of mental illness on people who do violent things as that perpetuates the stigma against people with mental illness.

I am also so tired of people claiming that these violent people "look crazy," meaning they have a mental illness. This is just offensive. Technically, by our society's standards, I am "crazy," and I don't really think I look like Mr. Holmes.  I even see this coming from people of my own faith tradition, Unitarian Universalism, a faith who has fought so hard to end stereotypes. No one in our faith would tolerate someone saying a person "looks gay" yet stating someone "looks crazy" goes largely unnoticed and is even encouraged.

I believe that our society jumps to the mental illness label because evil is scary for us. Most people are not quite sure what makes someone do evil things and they sure as heck want to make sure they personally cannot ever be seen as evil. So, they blame an illness, which they don't have, as a way to distance themselves from the situation. As if they are saying "only mentally ill people do evil things, so that means I can never do anything evil." Really though, as stated in the NAMI response, the "U.S. Surgeon General has reported that 'the overall contribution of mental disorders to the total level of violence in society is exceptionally small.'"

But can I ask the general public: "If you want to distance yourself from evil, how do you think it makes people with mental illness feel when you claim someone who committed a violent act must have mental illness?" You are perpetuating the myth that we are inherently evil. You are telling us we are bad and have the potential to do something evil just because we have an illness. Do you know how scary that is for us? Ever since I was a small child I knew of this stigma, and I always wondered if I was evil and didn't know it. That is a horrific, soul crushing, scary, and devastating thought to carry around with you. How do you think the current six year old with bipolar feels then they hear the shooter "must have had mental illness." How do you think the children of people with mental illness feel knowing that society shuns and fears their parent?

Whether or not it comes out that Mr. Holmes does have mental illness, we have not handled this well. We have vilified people of a certain group, and that is not acceptable. Even if he does have mental illness, that does not explain why he committed an evil act because there are thousands more like him who don't have a mental illness and do the same thing.

I would ask that the next time something like this happens, we do not jump to label someone as "other" so that we feel less threatened. We do this all the time, such as when we have labeled people who commit violent crimes as "terrorist" if they happen to be Muslim, or the assumptions that spread when the person is African American, Asian, or Latino/a. It's not alright to increase stigma and oppression for any group of people just so we can pretend like these events have nothing to do with our society as a whole, and instead we have some group to "make pay" or "blame" for the evil.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Nickelodeon Stigmatizes Mental Illness

The popular Nickelodeon children's show iCarly ran an episode a week ago called "iLost My Mind." One character, Sam, checked herself into a mental institution because she and another character, Freddy, kissed. She thinks she has lost her mind because she kissed Freddy and when Carly and Freddy find out where Sam is, they try to break her out.

When I heard the episode would air, I sent an email to Nickelodeon expressing my concern of the impact such a show has on our society and kids. It increases the stigma against mental illness and it is also a risk to children who see it and will be too ashamed to ask for help if they are struggling with mental illness. I did not get a reply from Nickelodeon and neither did the other people I know of who sent similar emails.

My seven year old son and I actually really like iCarly and watch it together often so we watched this episode together to see what it was like. He is well aware of my bipolar disorder and the realities of mental illness, not the cultural misrepresentation of it.

After the show I asked him "How did you think the show made people with mental illness look?" He said "It made them look stupid."

Then I asked him "How do you think a kid with mental illness might feel after watching that show?" His eyes got wide and he said "They would feel really bad."

I get very frustrated when our society makes fun of people with mental illness. I am appalled though that a children's show would add to the stigma. The mental institution in the show is dirty, the "patients" either walk around like zombies, think they are from the future, speak as multiple people, or wear gas masks. The signs on the wall of the common room say thing like "Urine is for the Restroom," "Biting is for Food," "Don't Kill You're Friends," and the game area sign says "Don't Eat the Pieces."

For all those who think the show is just a comedy and does not negatively affect kids or their view of the mentally ill, just look at my son's response to the show. I remember my reaction to shows like this when I was little because at just six years old, I knew that there was something wrong with my brain. Seeing shows like this and hearing people make fun of those with mental illness made me ashamed, scared, and unwilling to ask for help.

I hope Nickelodeon listens to the many emails people sent in expressing concerns over the show. I hope they are inspired instead to create a public service announcement for kids that mental illness is just that, an illness, let them know where to get help, and gives them hope that they can get better.

This episode was highly anticipated by children and youth everywhere, and received over 5.5 million views on it's "world premiere" day.

Here is the best link I could find to the episode:

If you would like to contact Nickelodeon about this episode, you can email them at Nickprivacy@nickonline.com or: (212) 258-7579.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

My Story

Since this is a new blog, I figured some background on my story might be helpful to you. This is the same information found in the "My Story" tab at the top of this page, but I thought a current post on the home page would be helpful as well.

Photo by Jeff Norris

I am a Unitarian Universalist minister, a wife, and a mother. I am also someone who has bipolar disorder, ADD, and anxiety. I knew at the young age of six that "something was wrong with me," but I did not know what it was. At eleven years old I wrote in my diary: "I promise I won't ever go crazy." My biggest fear was to have mental illness, yet I knew all along that was what was happening.

It took many years of panic attacks, depression, mania, and confusion for me to finally be correctly diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder, ADD, and panic disorder at the age of twenty five. I have been on almost every medication and I have seen quite a few psychiatrists and psychologists. My life is consumed by trying to manage my illness, do good in the world, and have a great family life. I am not currently on medication, as none have really worked yet.

My illness is much better than it used to be, but I am not what you would call "symptom free." I manage my illness through diet, spiritual practice, seeing my psychiatrist, and lifestyle requirements- along with a lot of help from my family. I believe mental illness is a chemical imbalance and also a spiritual issue because of how the mind and spirit are interconnected.

In the photo above, you can see my tattoo of the logo from the musical "Next to Normal." This musical is about a woman with bipolar disorder and her family. In my experience, it is extremely similar to my family's life.  If you truly want to know what bipolar does to not just the patient but also the family, who are usually our caregivers, listen to this musical.

In this blog I hope to help support other patients like me and their families. I also hope to raise awareness and help end the stigma against people with mental illness.

In addition to this blog, I also have a blog called Moving In With Dementia, as a few years ago my husband, son and I moved in with my parents to help care for my Mom who has dementia.

I truly believe we need to learn how to care for each other, because there are some illnesses that you just can't fix, but which can be managed, together. 

Thank you for visiting my blog and taking this journey with me. I hope you share your stories with me as well.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

All Roads Lead To...A New Blog

In the past few months, I have received many comments about the few blog posts I did about bipolar disorder on my other blog Moving In With Dementia. I have also recently had people reach out to me for advice as they struggle with their own mental illness. I have given out my card to people who have asked me if I am willing to talk to their loved one with bipolar disorder. I have met with people for unrelated reasons, only to have them randomly share their story of caring for a loved one. I have heard rude comments and stereotype assumptions about people with mental illness while shopping in the store.

What I hear is a hurting world. A world of people who struggle with mental illness and have no one to talk to. A world of caregivers who are scared, tired, and angry and no one understands what they are going through. I hear a world full of stigma that makes it very difficult for patients to seek treatment and families to get help.

I hope my reflections on mental illness and the spirit bring another view to this disease. I hope talking about the medical, social, and spiritual aspects of bipolar disorder helps other people manage their illness. (I look for stories of people like me when I am struggling, and it helps me get through another day.) I hope this blog helps friends, partners, children and families talk about the toll this disease takes on them. I also write it a bit for myself as one of the things that helps me manage my illness is finding meaning and purpose in this disease which claims almost every waking moment of my life. I hope this blog adds one more voice to the effort to raise awareness and end the stigma against mental illness.

My wish is that this blog helps us all find a little more hope and connection in the midst of a disease that is often isolating and seemingly hopeless.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie