Triggers

As I wrote the other week, it is getting easier for me to navigate my bipolar disorder through the daily ups and downs. I have found though that the triggers, like a specific event, are much harder to navigate. Those are the times when the bipolar just shows up without enough time to ease the impact.

Trigger: (noun) anything, as an act or an event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a series of reactions.

I have to say, it has been so interesting watching my brain on my new treatment plan. I can see the disorder so much more clearly and it has really given me a new understanding of just how much of an illness this is. I can't will it away, it is just something in my brain. I also have a new understanding of how much I can do to manage it though. I know that this takes hard work, with the lifestyle changes and such, but I feel like I have all these options now. Each day that the disorder sneaks up on me, with my new treatment, I am better able to figure out how to minimize the impact.

It is frustrating though to be doing so well and have a setback, even if it is just for a little while. It amazes me how vigilant I have to be to my program in order to keep things on track. My husband was saying my treatment is a three legged stool of diet, exercise, and sleep. If one leg goes out, you can balance on two, however, if any two of those legs get out of whack, things get much harder. For instance, I stayed up really late a few times this week and also did not have food that I could eat with me so I became very hungry which led to eating unhealthy food. Staying up late once or twice would have been fine if I had kept the other legs of the stool in place, but I didn't. However, now I know that if I just get back onto schedule, I will be feeling better right away. I have a lot more hope now than I used to and I know we will get the systems worked out so I can do even better.

Over the past month I have a new respect for my mental illness. I don't like it any better, but I understand it better. I understand it's power and I understand more how to work with it.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie