How I Discovered the Brain/Gut Connection

There is a news article going around from NPR called "Gut Bacteria Might Guide the Working of Our Minds." Quite a few people have contacted me about this article asking if I have seen it since they know I use diet rather than medication to manage my bipolar disorder. For me, the article is not new information. I heard about the brain/gut connection many years ago but it has not been widely accepted or talked about in main stream medicine so few people know about it. However, this information is saving my life so I wanted to let you know how I found out about it and give you some resources for your own research.

The NPR article only talks about gut bacteria and how they have found that the bacteria in our gut effects our brain. For instance, in one study with mice, they put the gut bacteria of non-anxious mice into mice with anxiety and the anxiety in those mice decreased. They then reversed it and gave non-anxious mice the gut bacteria of anxious mice and the non-anxious mice developed anxiety.

I first discovered at least a connection between what you eat and mental illness when I was a child. As early as I can remember, I would constantly overeat sugar in order to make myself feel better. I actually ate spoonfuls of sugar out of a 5lb. bag. Throughout my childhood I was anxious, scared, sad, manic, angry, and seeing things that were not there. Somehow I discovered when I ate large amounts of sugar, these things got better. Of course, at that age I had no idea what was really happening and I did not make the connection that eating large amounts of sugar only perpetuated the problem, making me more manic if I did not keep up with eating copious amounts of sugar daily. I first read about this and how sugar increases serotonin in the brain when I was in my 20's and found the book "Potatoes, Not Prozac." This started my journey of researching how food and gut bacteria effect the brain.

Brain food snack. Photo copyright Jeff Norris.

I think the hardest part about using dietary and lifestyle changes to manage an illness, any illness, is that most of the researchers never work together and they only focus on one part of the problem. For instance, "Potatoes, Not Prozac" does tell you to eliminate sugar but there is no research in there about gut bacteria and brain health. Basically, you need to do a lot of your own research and put together the information all of the scientists have discovered and find what works for you.

My next step was a psychiatrist who told me that cutting out sugar and increasing my daily amount of animal protein could help with my ADD and mania. He said he read a few papers on it but usually did not recommend it because medication was easier, "no one wants to change their diet," he said. As I did more research, it was not surprising to me that more animal protein helps with mania. There is a lot of research about using a ketogenic diet to manage epilepsy and the drugs used for epilepsy control bipolar disorder so it seems to make sense that for some reason a diet that helps epilepsy would also help bipolar disorder. But again, two fields of research working independently of each other and thus information is rarely shared.

Every time I implemented one of these dietary changes, I got better. After a few weeks of sugar withdrawal, not eating sugar made my depression better, but I was still angry all the time (mania). Increasing animal protein got rid of the anger. The biggest issue with any of this though, at least in my experience living in the midwest, is that few doctors, even if they have read the research, really ever use diet to treat mental illness so none of them can help guide you find out what works for you. I will write a full post on this issue, but this has been for me and the people I work with, the biggest reason it is so hard to stick with dietary and lifestyle choices, it is just not supported in our culture, especially by society in general. Try going to a dinner party and not eating dessert or drinking and you will find just how difficult it is to eat what is best for you. I also developed a binge eating disorder from the sugar addiction and then trying to follow Weight Watchers which got me to be militant about food rules. So for years I have gone back and forth with what I eat.

Then my husband, who has always had a iron stomach, got very sick. He could not keep any food in him and his immune system was shutting down. He had all the tests done and was told he had Irritable Bowl and there was nothing they could do for him. We could not imagine that his whole life would be like this and a friend told us to try cutting out gluten (wheat) even though my husband did not test positive for a wheat allergy. He got better right away and since I was eating the same as him, I noticed my moods evened out. From there I went back to researching the link between food and mood and then found the Paleo diet which cuts out all grains, dairy, sugar, and legumes and I felt even better.

Photo copyright Jeff Norris.

Through the Paleo community is where I found a wealth of information. Books explaining why I had Irritable Bowl since I was a child, as well as eczema and a whole host of other issues. There were many stories from people who said their moods improved on the Paleo diet and then I found all of the research on bacteria and gut health. It was amazing. All of these things completely made sense to me and just a week into a Paleo diet I start to feel remarkably better.

Over these many years, my eating disorder has gotten worse and today that is still the thing that makes it hard for me to stick to eating Paleo. Not only will people argue, shame, and pressure you not to eat this way, but any way of eating that seems to have a lot of rules can trigger your eating disorder if you have not worked through the eating disorder with a therapist. However, more people are writing about this and talking about how to ease into a Paleo diet and find the foods that work with your body and help you recover from an eating disorder. That might mean you eat some dairy or none at all. You might tolerate white rice, or not. However, no where have I found that people with mental illness do well eating wheat, sugar, or artificial sugars. Sugar and wheat easily allow detrimental bacteria to grow like wildfire in your gut.

I will not say this has been an easy path because it has not been for me. I will write more about the journey in future posts. Basically, I have been Paleo for over a year now and when I can be 100% Paleo, my moods even out within a week and I am very stable. It works better and faster than any medication I have ever tried, with none of the side effects. As I work through my eating disorder I am confident I will be able to stick to this better and better as time goes on.

I would like to link you to some resources that you might find helpful in doing your own research about the brain/gut and food/mood connections. These are just a few of the resources I have, but I think it is enough to get you started!

Blessings,
Rev. Katie

General Resources:
Blog: Evolutionary Psychology by Emily Deans, M.D. This is the place to go for all the real research and studies about food/mood and the brain/gut connection.  Seriously, fantastic. This is the place to start your research!

Blog: i bee free - Fantastic blog by Courtney who has been able to really stick with the Paleo diet with modifications that fit for her. From i bee free: "Under a doctor’s care for hypothyroidism, Courtney Rundell ended up in a mental hospital and was misdiagnosed bipolar. A year later, she was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, an autoimmune thyroid disease that causes both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism. Neither her psychiatrist or endocrinologist reconsidered her bipolar diagnosis...Improperly treated Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and Adrenal Fatigue were the cause of decades of suffering. After a lot of trial-and-error, she’s found the Paleo Autoimmune Protocol, minor supplementation, a regular sleeping schedule, yoga and meditation to be much more powerful than handfuls of pharmaceuticals."

Book:  Gut and Psychology Syndrome: Natural Treatment for Autism, Dyspraxia, A.D.D., Dyslexia, A.D.H.D., Depression, Schizophrenia. by Natasha Campbell-McBride, M.D.


Paleo Resources:
Website & Books : Balanced Bites by Diane Sanfilippo, BS, NC. Diane's website is a wealth of information but so are two of her books, Practical Paleo and The 21 Day Sugar Detox. She has information about the connection between food and your gut and all different illnesses.

Website:  Paleo Parents by Matt and Stacy. They have two cookbooks as well as chronicle living Paleo with kids. Stacy has lost over 100 pounds and talks about finding the diet that works best for you and loving your body as it is. This is a great resource for anyone with an eating disorder to start to learn how to eat even if you have health restrictions but not turn to eating disordered militant rules and body shaming.

Podcast: The Paleo View. Podcast featuring many Paleo experts covering all kinds of topics, including eating disorders, food and mood, and the brain/gut connection.

Website: The Paleo Mom by Sarah Ballantyne, Ph.D. Sarah is a wealth of information about using Paleo to heal autoimmune disorders and she explains the science behind the Paleo diet.

Website: Chris Kresser L.AC. Lots of science about the brain/gut connection.

Go-to Books about Paleo and all the science behind it:
The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf. If you want a book with all the science but that is easy to understand, this book is for you.

The Paleo Diet by Loren Cordain, Ph.D. Considered the first book about Paleo that really got the movement started. There is a lot of science in this book and on his website with tons of published research papers.

Paleo and Eating Disorders Information:
Paleo and Eating Disorders from Paleo Diet Lifestyle by Sebastien Noel
Can the Paleo Diet Cure Bulimia? from Paleo Healing by Doron Dusheiko
Disordered Eating from Paleo Pepper.

Book Review: Running with Nature

Running with Nature by Mariel Hemingway and Bobby Williams is, simply, a book that helps people live their best life. It's not a book specifically about mental illness, but a book about having a well rounded life.

Many of you know that I use many lifestyle initiatives in order it treat my bipolar disorder. I have researched what diet, sleep schedule, meditation techniques, exercise, etc... are effective in treating bipolar. While there is a lot of overlap in what works, I have also come to learn that exactly what works is different for each person. You really need to experiment and see what is your perfect treatment plan, knowing that it will need to change as you age and as life changes.

So, I have been looking for a book that speaks clearly and concisely about basic principles which create mental wellness while also giving room for discovering what works for you personally. Running with Nature (formerly The WillingWay), is just that book. This is one of those few books where you highlight and flag almost everything in the book and you read it over and over again so everything can sink in.

Each chapter talks about an essential element to living a well balanced and healthy life and achieving mental wellness. I will go through each chapter and highlight some of the main points.

Photo from Mariel Hemingway.com

Get Outside
This chapter is all about the benifits of being in nature which brings us closer to ourselves and the divine. One of the great suggestions in this chapter is a simple one: walk barefoot. We truly connect with nature when walking barefoot - it grounds us, and we feel the rejuvinating energy of the earth by walking upon it without rubber soles on our feet. Try it and I guarantee you will feel better in a few minutes.

Sleep Well
If you have read anything about treatment for mental illness, you will know that keeping a good sleep schedule is extremely important. This chapter explains why sleep is important and how to create an environment so you get the best sleep you can. They also talk about your natural circadian rhythm and how to honor it. Circadian rhythm is one of the things most disturbed by bipolar disorder so you have to get this on track. 

Breathe Consciously
This chapter explains the importance of breathing and also how to use breathing techniques for mental health such as alternate nostril breathing, which my therapist taught me. This technique helps balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain and helps you feel more balanced. This chapter is a great resource for quick ways to improve your mental state no matter where you are.

Live Silence
We rarely ever have silence in our technology laden, fast paced world, but without silence we can not tune into ourselves and get to know who we are. This chapter talks about different forms of meditation and their benefits. I am glad that they mention how during meditation deep emotions come up, so if you are experiencing depression, trauma, etc..., you should see a professional counselor to help you through the process. They also talk about the importance of prayer, which they define as asking our inner self, the Universe, and God (or what you find divine) for help. What I love about their prayer practice is that they say to always add at the end "For the highest good of all concerned in connection to the universe and the source of all that is." This means prayer is not about asking to get what you want, but asking for the greatest good of all. Another part of silence is turning off technology and they suggest turning it off for one day a week. This is something I want to try soon as I think it would help our whole family.

Eat Wholesome Food
An amazing chapter about how to eat good food, but not giving a prescription that everyone must eat the same way. They believe that each of us, if we pay attention to our body, can discover the right diet to maximize our wellness. I find this to be so true. While I know that the basics of a Paleo diet work best for me, there are things I need to modify for it to work best in treating my bipolar disorder. This chapter gave me the freedom to listen to myself and be my own expert. It covers such things as eating as local and organic as possible, the issues of pasteurized dairy, keeping an acid alkaline balance, healthy protein sources, gluten sensitivity, and the issue of sugar. Nothing in this chapter conflicts with what I have researched about a healthy diet for people with mental illness.

Drink Pure Water
Basically, pure water helps us in many ways by keeping us hydrated, clearing out toxins, and it gives you great skin. This chapter talks about how to actually make sure you are drinking pure water that will give you the most benefits for a healthy mind and body. I am glad they talk about the environmental impact of drinking bottled water and also some of the things you need to watch for in tap water.

Cleanse and Heal
I admit, I was a bit afraid of this chapter because there are so many detox and cleanse fads out there. Few of them are a good idea, most of them will set someone like me with an eating disorder up for increased disordered eating. Mariel addresses the issue of disordered eating and fasting, so thankfully this chapter explains the basics of cleansing and how to find what method is right for you. Too many "experts" recommend cleanses and fasting to people with eating disorders and that is a serious problem. There is a whole range of ideas from just eating mild foods for part of the day to give your body a break, to people who fast for a few hours a day. I also love that Mariel talks about the connection of food and mood, she says "I have a passion for making people aware of health, nutrition and lifestyle as it relates to mental well-being. When I eat unheathy food, I become mentally challenged and off-kilter." There is a lot in this chapter about mental wellness and food choices, it is a wealth of information.

Laugh and Play
One of the best chapters ever! As adults, we think we are not supposed to have fun and play, and we teach our kids that they need to play less and act more like adults. Mariel and Bobby quote Unitarian minster Rev. James Freeman Clark (shout out to my fellow Unitarian Universalists!) when he said: "The love of play and sport shows that amusement is evidently one of the original instincts of human nature." Having fun is essential to a well balanced life. Play games, find fun exercises, use a trampoline, laugh. Make a conscious effort to bring happiness into your life through laughter and play. This chapter has made such a difference in our lives, especially as a family. This has allowed us to focus more on finding time to have fun as a family, which also means I am participating in activities which combat the depressive side of my illness.

Adventure
This chapter talks about how adventure keeps us growing. This is also where they talk about the mental health benefits of exercise. Exercise helps combat depression and boosts cognitive ability. Keeping up with exercise means you need to pick something that is fun and adventurous, or challenging for you. Exercise is key to a good mental health treatment plan, I can not stress that enough. This chapter and the Laugh and Play chapter have really added to our lives. (Look for an upcoming post about Slacklining!)

Be Mindful in Your Relationships
Wow, a book about wellness that recognizes true wellness is not created in a vacuum! If you are in a partnership, you have to communicate well in order for both of you to maintain wellness. They talk about being honest with each other, having time together, and making time for yourself. They also talk about male and female energy, but not just that only men have male energy and women female. I acknowledge that not everyone feels there is male and female energy and so that part of the chapter may not speak to some people as much.

This is just a basic review'summary, and I don't feel it does the book justice! It has really changed the way our whole family lives, even to the point that my son told me today "Mommy, you need to get in touch with nature more" when he was asking me to play outside on this warm spring day.

Look for future blog posts that talk about the many ways in which we have implemented the principles of this book for better mental health by clicking on the Running with Nature tag/label on the right side of the blog. I am feeling so much better, with a more even mood and better ability to implement diet, exercise, sleep, and other lifestyle components after embracing the suggestions in Running with Nature.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Movie Review: Running From Crazy

Last night at the 2013 Cleveland International Film Festival, we saw Running From Crazy, which is a documentary about Mariel Hemingway's journey to understand her family's history of mental illness. Mariel is an actress, model, and the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway. There are seven suicides in her family, including Ernest and Mariel's sister Margot.

Photo from Running From Crazy's FB Page

This is a very good movie for so many reasons. First, there is footage from when Mariel's sister Margot was creating a documentary about Ernest Hemingway. In the footage you can really see the family dynamics Mariel speaks of from her childhood. You also hear Margot talking about her struggles, which hit so close to home for those of us with mental illness.

Second, this movie is from the perspective of one of the healthier members of the family, Mariel, trying to live within a dysfunctional family, find her own peace and her own way out to break the cycle of mental illness and dysfunction. I think it is important to hear not only from the voices of those with mental illness but from their family members as well. Mariel is so candid about her emotions concerning different family members and how she is working towards greater understanding and compassion. What is beautiful about the movie is that she is not insulting to her family, but truly seeks to understand them better and talk about the times when she may have been unkind to her sisters. She truly talks about the whole family system rather than blaming and shaming anyone. This shows in incredible amount of insight and spiritual work on her part. And she is honest that she is still working on some of those issues. She is not perfect, just like none of us are perfect.

For me personally, as someone with mental illness, I identified with much of this movie not only from Mariel's point of view but also in some of the things her sister Margot spoke of and her pain. It was healing for me to watch this movie and know I am not alone in some of my life experiences. This is why I think sharing our stories is so important. We tend to think we are the only ones stuck in a situation that is scary and we don't understand, and this creates a lot of shame. We need to know there are others out there in similar situations also striving to change dynamics, become well for themselves, and live a happy and healthy life.

Mariel talked a bit about her lifestyle as well, which she sees as essential to wellness. Rarely in the community of mental illness do you hear people talking about anything other than medication as a way to recovery. This makes it very hard for those of us who feel a different way is a better fit for them. People seem to think that I am required to take medication and I am irresponsible if I do not. Then again others say I must not really have a mental illness if I don't take medication. This is not true. I just believe that we have the ability to know what our bodies and minds need to be well and for some of us that means we need medication as well as a healthy lifestyle and for others we do not need the medication.

Our home brewed mango kombucha (fermented tea).

I loved seeing Mariel on the trampoline, being active, and talking about drinking kombucha and eating local foods. These are things that Jeff and I do, yet most people think it is weird and a very restrictive life. Mariel was also walking across a slack line, which Jeff bought a while ago and has been wanting us to try. I guess I have to try it now! It is all about finding the diet that works for you which heals your body and mind, getting out in the sun and nature, sleeping well, exercising, having fun, and having a spiritual practice in your life.

One of the hardest things about sticking with this lifestyle is that it is difficult to do if you do not live in a community that supports it. Mariel and her partner Bobby Williams created The Willing Way in order to help support other people who want a healthy lifestyle. This is important in terms of general community support but also, I find it difficult to find healthy living supporters who also understand mental illness. Many of these groups are quite unsupportive of those of us who can't just make a decision one day and stick with it forever. We are seen as weak and selfish. I think Mariel could be a great voice for understanding and acceptance for those of us struggling with mental illness who want non-pharmacological ways to reach recovery.

I recommend seeing this movie to give real insight into mental illness from a whole family perspective. It shows the reality of mental illness, but it also the hope that exists as well.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Whole30 Wrap Up: Creating a Powerful Body, Mind, and Spirit

Today is the last day of my Whole30. Finally! After trying Whole30 at least 5 times, I actually finished it. Woo Hoo!! Here is my Whole30 Wrap Up:

Why Did I Do a Whole30?

• I have a terrible relationship with food and I needed to change that. Normally I am just worried about loosing weight, but all the other weight loss methods that worked for me just had me eating low fat, sugar-free, ice cream, and bread all day. I lost weight but still had a bad relationship with food, and then a few years later I gained the weight back.
• What I eat helps regulate my bipolar disorder better than medications do. I needed to figure out what was best for my treatment plan.
• I wanted to have choice in my life rather than letting my illness take control of me.
• I wanted to finally stick up for myself and to say that I am worth this amount of work.
• For my family. I wanted my son to learn what is healthy. Not see that you eat healthy to be a certain size, but you eat, sleep, recover, play, learn, and grow spiritually so you can be play hard, learn more, and be strong.

What Were The Hardest Things About Whole30?

• Meal planning. You need a TON of food prepared in order to eat Whole30 because you really can't eat out anywhere. (Or at least I could not because I did not want to risk it.) Sometimes we ate the same meal for breakfast lunch and dinner. 
• The "Sugar Dragon." I craved sugar, dreamed about sugar, and a few times overate dates or sweet potatoes.
• Binge eating healthy food! I didn't know that if I had no options, I really would overeat veggies and meat. 
• Taking food everywhere. Every meeting, every dinner party, every play date for our son, we brought our own food.
• I am not cured. I have had Irritable Bowel (IBS) my whole life and really thought if I just ate Whole30 it would go away. It got better but didn't go away completly. There must still be more I am sensitive too. Also, my bipolar is much better regulated but I don't have more than 3-4 days where I am really stable. 

Two of our favorite books. Photo by Jeff Norris.

What Were The Best Things About Whole30?

• While I am not cured of IBS or bipolar, they are both significantly better. And, I no longer fear cutting out foods in order to get even more healthy. I always thought "I don't have enough willpower to be better." Whole30 made me realize willpower is a myth. I can do it if I have a good support system, we are better prepared, and I know I am worth it. It was not until week 3 that I really realized I could do this. I think you just have to force yourself to do it for at least 3 weeks before you know you can do it. 
• Cooking with my husband. We used to drive each other nuts trying to cook in the same kitchen. But this time we both were working towards the same goal and it was great.
• My son learned about being healthy and is actually interested in it! He remained almost completely Whole30 compliant, and he wanted to do it. Gone are the previous days of him complaining that he can't have pizza, bread, dairy, sweets, candy, and "eat what everyone else eats." He likes to just eat healthy. He wants to be stronger, faster, and better in school. He started CrossFit kids in the last few weeks and is really loving the whole healthy lifestyle.
• We had fun doing this together as a family. We cooked new things, ruined some dishes that made our son laugh at us, went to visit the farm where our meat comes from, worked out together, and we became far more encouraging of each other not only with eating but work, school, and life.
• I learned that my eating disorder is perpetuated by eating bad food. It Starts With Food, the book about Whole 30, has a great chapter on the science behind the addictive nature of processed foods. 
• Supplements, sleep, and other things had been suggested to me by my doctor for my treatment but it was so hard to figure out what helped, what was causing problems, because I just had so much bad food in my body. I have a better idea of what supplements help, how much sleep I need, and that there are still a lot more lifestyle changes to go before my treatment plan is compete. Now doing the Whole30, I know I can do all of these things. 
• I proved to myself that I matter. I did not cave and put myself last just to make other people more comfortable. I did not doubt my intuition on how best to care for myself. I gave myself power that I thought I did not have before.

"Measurable" Results From the Whole30

•  Mental Illness: Less Ativan needed, bit better sleep (still working on this), more stable moods, times that would have set me over the edge were not as bad, on the path to recovery from binge eating, happier, sense of self worth.
• Physical: Better at CrossFit and better at sticking with working out, lost weight and inches (I went down two notches on my belt), skin clearing up, eczema not gone but better, IBS not as bad.
• Family: We became closer as a family, we support each other more, healthy living has almost defined us and what we think is important, even our dogs are on a better diet.
• Spiritual: Much better connection to the earth, animals, and farmers who bring us our food. More gratitude, less waste, more understanding of how to help others who are working on being healthy, easier to stick to our ethics, more connected with the Spirit of Love around us. 

What Is Next?

•  Sticking with a strict Paleo base following the Whole30 concept of not eating a ton of Paleofied foods, and not using any refined sugar, and only small amounts of honey or maple syrup. 
• Whole30 has a reintroduction plan, but instead I will be eliminating some more foods to see what still bothers my stomach and I never want to reintroduce wheat, sugar, processed foods, etc...
• More focus on sleep, timing of eating, exercise, and meditation.

Overall, the Whole30 experience was great. True, sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out, scream, yell, and quit. However, the power you gain from doing something like this is so great. You become stronger in body, mind, and spirit.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

Some of our most used items this month: It Starts With Food, Practical Paleo, Well Fed, and recipe for Slow Cooker Italian Pork Roast.

Treatment Isn't Easy

Treatment for mental illness has been in the news quite a bit lately due to the Newtown, CT shooting and then a blog post that came out from a mother with a child with mental illness. There have been many responses from people with other children who have similar issues and the difficulties in getting treatment. Some say they can not get enough help, and then there is an issue brought up by one mother that we need to accept that medicaiton is a good option for kids.

I am glad we are having this conversation and I cannot say what treatments I think are the "right" ones. In reality, I think that treatment is different based on every person. And that is why I think it is important to speak to the fact that for most of us there is no easy solution to treatment.

I have had different mental health problems since I was 6 years old but did not start to receive treatment until I was 19. That means I have been at this treatment thing with psychyatrists and psychologists for 15 years. And clearly we know from my blog posts that I am not free from my illness. For many of us, treatment is just not that easy.

Photo by Jeff Norris

First there is the issue of medication. Many people think if all mentally ill people just received medication and kept up with taking it that we would all be free from our illness. You can see through many of my previous posts that medication has not worked for me and actually caused severe side effects. It is promoted by many doctors and the media that most side effects include things like weight gain, nausea, lack of libido, sleep disturbance, dry mouth, and other things that people say we can put up with in order to be free of our illness. First, unless you have experienced those side effects, you don't know that for many people they are pretty debilitating and life altering. Furthermore, most people don't tell you about those of us who have severe side effects like decreased cognitive functioning, organ failure, heart disease, and more. We can not present medicine in simplistic terms and assume it is safe and/or effective for everyone. There is always the argument from people who see better behavior in an individual on medicine and then get angry when the person goes off the medication. However, if the medicine were really working, we would keep taking it. Clearly it is not working well enough if we stop taking it. Either it is not controlling the irrational thinking enough so we think we don't need it, or the side effects are so bad that we stop taking it. Medication works for many people but we should not judge those for whom it does not work. And finding the right medication is hard. It may take 8-10 years at the minimum to find the right medications. We need to be understanding when the illness is not treated quickly and easily.

Second there is the issue of all the other lifestyle changes doctors suggest for treatment such as exercise, diet, sleep schedule, and meditation. Everyone I know, regardless of mental state, has a hard time keeping a balanced life at all times. For people with mental illness, it is especially hard to do so and we have less wiggle room for how much can get out of balance. In college, other people could barely sleep for a week and be just fine functioning. They would need a few days of extra sleep and could get right on back on track with life. For me, one night of bad sleep meant possibly weeks of worsening symptoms and I needed a lot of help to get back on track. Here again we need to be compassionate about treatment. If someone can not keep the perfect diet, keeps forgetting to take medication, has issues sleeping, etc... that does not mean they are not trying. The worst thing you can do for someone trying to make positive lifestyle choices is to argue that because they don't stick with it that they are failing and need to learn to make better choices, or that they just should not do it anymore because it is clearly not working. Our lives are worth fighting for.

Photo by Jeff Norris

Third, people also have co-occuring disorders so they may have many road blocks in their treatment plan. Such as for me diet is a huge help in my treatment but I also have a binge eating disorder which makes it very hard to stick with the right diet. If you have PTSD it can sneak up on you in times that you would not think have anything to do with a past traumatic event so watch out for that getting in the way. If you can find the link it is often something you can work through. What I really like about my therapist is that he looks at every "setback" as an opportunity to learn more about me and what we might need to work on in order to help me be healthy. That is different than the usual mentality that if you do not get better instantly you are not trying hard enough, make bad choices, and you won't ever get better.

Last, there is the inevitable "if this is an emergency dial 911" message on your doctors phone. Many doctors and other people think if you go to the psychiatric unit you will be cured, but that typically is just between a few days and a few weeks of treatment. It takes at least six weeks just to see if a medication has a chance of working for you. And there is little support for how to live life out of a treatment center. Honestly, most of us can't keep going back into the hospital and we need much more support in our every day life than most of our communities and insurance companies (if you are even lucky enough to have insurance) are willing to give us. You see a therapist and/or psychiatrist every day in a facility and then in regular life you might go to therapy once a week and see your psychiatrist once every six weeks. You have none of the outside stimulus, none of the people and situations that might contribute to your illness, and far less that can trigger you in a facility. Then you go back into the same life you had before and don't know how to manage. Going into treatment is beneficial to many people but the success rate could be even higher if we didn't just assume a few weeks in a hospital cured everyone and if we had better programming out of the hospital. Good care for a psych patient includes a plan after the hospital. A great start is if you have a loved one who is in a facility, to think about what changes you might need to make at home to help them keep up with treatment or how much assistance they might need with taking meds, eating, sleep, and exercising.

All this is to say, treatment is not simple and I don't know that we always have an understanding of how complicated it is. Some people ask me why I would write my blog if I am not "cured" or my illness is not under control. I write because my situation is much more common than we think it is. It can feel very lonely to look for resources on mental illness and often have it portrayed that there is a simple fix- if we would just take our meds and do what our doctors tell us. I wish it was not that hard. I wish there was a simple solution for everyone. Sometimes we have to just keep trying even if it does not work over, and over, and over again.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

What Harm Could One Little Cup of Coffee Do?

I have been eating well for about a week and feeling much better. My moods are more even, and now that I am also exercising again I am much less depressed than I usually am. I was doing so well that yesterday I figured it could not hurt much if I went to the coffee shop and got one of those sweet mocha concoctions. Yes, that was stupid, irrational thinking on my part. Basically it was my eating disorder thinking for me. But at the time it seemed rational. I mean I had eaten Paleo all week, one drink would not hurt me, and I would not have another one for at least another week. (I do realize that sounds like an alcohol addiction and there is a lot of research about how sugar addiction and alcohol addiction are linked.)

An hour after finishing my milk-filled, caffeine-filled, sugar-filled drink, I was shaking, angry and easily irritated. My son would ask me a simple question and I felt like I wanted to scream at him. When I typed on the computer I was missing keys because my hands were so shaky sometimes. I ate some protein and vegetables to try and even things out, but I just got worse and ended up with a severe stomach ache and shaking that lasted well into the night. All from a darn Venti Mocha.

Photo by Katie Norris

Despite the research out there, there are still many people who do not think food affects our mood. I keep trying to convince myself of that as well, but every time I eat something that is not good for me, not only does my mental illness get worse but frequently by body become physically ill as well. I should have learned my lesson by now and not listen to people who tell me I can have sugar just once a day or a few times a week, or that I can eat junk food in moderation.

I think some of us are more sensitive to the foods we eat than others and we do not have the luxury of eating unhealthy foods "in moderation." I have been craving chocolate and sugar ever since that mocha drink and all I can think about is if I can get some sugary treat somewhere. For me, I can't do "moderation" because clearly foods trigger chemicals in my brain that just get out of control and it is too hard to try and make up for it later. For instance, one way to combat depression is to increase serotonin. Eating sugar does increase serotonin but in an unbalanced way which makes you feel better for a bit but then causes an even bigger dip in your levels later causing you to become more and more depressed. (Check out this article about sugar and mental illness: Scientist Shows Link Between Diet and Onset of Mental Illness.  There are many other research studies out there showing the same thing.) Instead, eating a balanced diet of protein, healthy fat, and carbohydrates from vegetables balances out your serotonin for a longer time period causing a more even mood.

I really encourage people to research what kind of diet might work for them in helping to treat their mental illness. I am not a doctor so I can't tell you what to eat. I can only go by my own research and what my doctors suggest for me, and I recommend you do the same.

My husband said today that if I had started a new medication last Friday and I was doing this well, he would say the medication was working. All I did last Friday was change my diet, exercise, and sleep and it is working as well as medication (for me) without the terrible side effects I would get from prescriptions. I would say that the biggest risk is that lifestyle changes are hard to stick to and I do go back and forth on them but I also believe that if we keep trying we will be able to find what works for us and stick with it, we just need a lot of help along the way.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie